50 Ways to know if you're Asian and 84 Ways To Know If You're Chinese
50 cách nhận biết nếu bạn là người Á và 84 cách biết nếu bạn là người Hoa
Hội Phố
Sống ở xứ người , chúng ta đều cần hội nhập vào nền văn hóa nơi mình cư ngụ hầu thích nghi với hoàn cảnh và ở lâu thì đất lạ cũng thành quen. Tuy nhiên, vẫn có những điểm khác biệt thuộc về thói quen di truyền sâu thẳm trong tiềm thức. Một tác giả vô danh đã tìm ra sự khác biệt này để nhận biết chính mình. Bài trích dưới đây đã có từ lâu trên mạng nhưng càng đọc càng thấy sự tinh tế trong cách nhận xét của tác giả . Hội Phố xin Post lại cho bạn đọc ngẫm nghĩ và nhìn lại mình coi có bao nhiêu điểm trùng hợp với bài viết
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50 Ways to know if you're Asian
1. You were/are a good student with very high GPAs.
2. You majored in something practical like engineering, medicine or finance.
3. You have more than one-college degree, especially more than one Master's.
4. If you play a musical instrument, it must be piano.
5. You have a vinyl table cloth on your kitchen table.
6. Your stove is covered with aluminium foil.
7. Your kitchen has a sticky film of grease over it.
8. You beat eggs with chopsticks.
9. You always leave outdoor shoes at the door.
10. You use the dishwasher as a dish rack.
11. You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times.
12. You boil water before drinking.
13. You eat all meals in the kitchen to keep your dining room clean.
14. You don't use measuring cups when preparing foods.
15. You save grocery bags and use them to hold garbage.
16. You have a rice cooker.
17. You're a wok user.
18. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
19. You wash rice 2-3 times before cooking it.
20. You make sounds when you have a bowl of soup.
21. You don't dry-clean clothes, even if they need to be dry-cleaned.
22. You iron your own shirts.
23. You like congee with thousand year old eggs.
24. You always cook yourself, even if you hate it.
25. You use credit cards, and pay monthly bills in full.
26. You do either soccer, swimming, badminton,volleyball, basketball, or ping pong, and have an obsession with making the Beijing Olympics.
27. You buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50ff.
28. When you hand wash dishes, you only use cold water.
29. You hate to waste food:
a) Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to throw away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them.
You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing.
30. You don't own any real Tupperware-only a cupboard full of used but carefully rinsed margarine tubs, take out containers, and jam jars.
32. When toilet paper is on sale, you buy 100 rolls and store them.
33. You have a collection of miniature shampoo/conditioner bottles and little soap bars that you take every time you stay in a hotel.
34. The condiments in your fridge are either Price Club sized or come in plastic packets, which you save every time you get take out or go to McDonald's.
35. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes).
36. You spit bones and other food scraps on the table.
37. Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself.
38. When you go to a dance party, there is always a group of guys surrounding the dance floor trying to look cool.
39. Your house/apartment is always cold in winter, and hot in summer.
40. Your Mom drives her Mercedes to Foodtown, or Shoppers Food Warehouse regardless how far it is, even if the dairy is next door.
41. You always look phone numbers up in the phone book, since calling Directory Assistance costs 50 cents.
42. You only make long distance calls after 11pm or during weekends.
43. You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached.
44. You never call your parents just to say hi.
45. You think ONLY Japanese can make good CARS!
46. You use a coloured face cloth every morning.
47. You starve yourself before going to all-you-can-eat places.
48. Almost all your money is in a savings account
49. You never discuss your love life with your parents.
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST:
50. You take this message post it in your own blog for all your Azn friends to see.
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84 Ways To Know If You're Chinese...
If you check off 100%, you should not be living in Canada/USA because you are too Chinese. However, if you check off less than 42 items (50%), you are a fruit (banana: yellow on the outside but white inside). If you only say yes to 20 items, Canada owes you a medal .... so proud to be a Canadian/American.
1. You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully, so you can save and reuse the
wrapping and especially those bows) next year.
2. You only buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50% off.
3. When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in
your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has moved out.
4. You have a vinyl table cloth on your kitchen table.
5. Your stove is covered with aluminum foil.
6. Your kitchen has a sticky film of grease over it.
7. You have stuff in the freezer since the beginning of time.
8. You use the dishwasher as a dish rack.
9. You have never used your dishwasher.
10. You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times.
11. You boil water and put it in the refrigerator.
12. You eat all meals in the kitchen.
13. You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers.
14. You use grocery bags to hold garbage.
15. You always leave your shoes at the door.
16. You have a piano in your living room.
17. Your parents know how to launch nasal projectiles.
18. You iron your own shirts.
19. You play a musical instrument.
20. You pick your teeth at the dinner table (but you cover your mouth).
21. You twirl your pen around your fingers.
22. You hate to waste food...
a. Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to throw away the leftovers on the
table, you'll finish them.
b. You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing.
23. You don't own any real Tupperware--only a cupboard full of used but
carefully rinsed margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars.
24. You also use the jam jars as drinking glasses.
25. You've eaten a red bean popsicle.
26. You bring oranges (or other produce) with you as a gift when you visit
people's homes.
27. You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take every
time you stay in a hotel.
28. The condiments in your fridge are either Price Club sized or come in
plastic packets, which you save/steal every time you get take out or go to McDonald's.
29. Ditto paper napkins.
30. You never order room service.
31. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means
any car ride longer than 15 minutes).....These travel snacks
are always dried. As in not just dried plums, dried ginger,
and beef/pork jerky, but dried cuttlefish (SQUID).
32. You own a rice cooker.
33. You wash your rice at least 2-3 times before cooking it.
34. You spit bones and other food scraps on the table. (That's why you
need the vinyl tablecloth).
35. Your parents vehemently refuse the sack of gold coin oranges that their
guests just brought just to be courteous.
36. You fight over who pays the dinner bill
37. Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself.
38. You majored in something practical like engineering, medicine or law.
39. When you go to a dance party, there are a wall of guys surrounding the
dance floor trying to look cool.
40. You live with your parents and you are 30 years old (and they prefer it
that way). Or if you're married and 30 years old, you live in the
apartment next door to your parents, or at least in the same neighborhood.
41. You don't use measuring cups.
42. You feel like you've gotten a good deal if you didn't pay tax.
43. You beat eggs with chopsticks.
44. Your parents' house is always cold.
45. You have a teacup with a cover on it.
46. You reuse teabags.
47. You have a drawer full of old pens, most of which don't write anymore.
48. If you're under age 20, you own a really expensive walkman. If you're over
20, you own a really expensive camera and/or stereo system.
49. Your mom drives her Mercedes to the Price Club.
50. You always look phone numbers up in the phone book, since calling
Information costs 50 cents.
51. You tip Chinese delivery guys/waiters more.
52. You're a wok user.
53. You only make long distance calls after 11pm.
54. You know all the waiters at your favourite Chinese restaurants.
55. You like Chinese films in their original undubbed versions...
a. You love Chinese Martial Arts films.
b. Shao Lin and Wu Tang actually mean something to you.
56. You have acquired a taste for bittermelon.
57. You like congee with thousand year old eggs.
58. You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached--it means they're fresh.
59. You never call your parents just to say hi.
60. You always cook too much.
61. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've
eaten, even if it's midnight.
62. Also, if you don't live at home, your parents always want you to come home.
63. Your parents tell you to boil herbs and stay inside when you get sick.
64. When you're sick, they also tell you not to eat fried foods or baked
goods because they produce hot air (yeet hay in Cantonese).
65. You e-mail your Chinese friends at work, even though you only sit 10
feet apart.
66. Your parents never go to the movies.
67. Your parents send money to their relatives in China.
68. You use a face cloth.
69. Your parents use a clothes line.
70. You're always late.
71. You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don't eat the last piece
of food on the table.
72. You starve yourself before going to all you can eat sushi.
73. You've joined a CD club at least once.
74. You know someone who can get you a good deal on jewelry or electronics.
75. You never discuss your love life with your parents.
76. Your parents are never happy with your grades.
77. You save your old Coke bottle glasses even though you're never going to
use them again.
78. You keep used batteries.
79. You own your own meat cleaver and sharpen it.
80. You keep most of your money in a savings account.
81. You know what MJ means.
82. You've been on the Love Boat or know someone who has.
83. Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin.
84. You take this message and forward it to all your Chinese friends
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